#thecumulativeeffect

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Love & SexA Kiss @Midnight

7 comments | January 9th, 2012

skyrockets

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

We know, the statute of limitations on New Year's stories is about up, but this one epitomizes why we here @OOC HQ have never been big fans of the big night.  In a word, it's expectations.  Sky high expectations of living up to the hype.  And so we avoid the hype like a plague.  Not everyone wants to, not everyone does, and not everyone can. Here's one reader's story:

It's New Year's Eve and everyone is sitting in front of the television watching Dick Clark's New Year's Eve show. You look out into the crowds and stare at all the people and wish you could be there. Wishing that you could have a New Year's kiss. An amazing life changing one.

Anyone ever been there? I have always wanted a kiss at midnight but never got one. I can only wish. {end story}

Who's got something to share with our writer?  Remember, if you share your story, you can change hers.  Or, maybe, just help her feel more better.  And that wouldn't be a bad thing, would it?

 

#chestismsI’m Normal

2 comments | January 6th, 2012

chestist soup

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Oh how we love this story sent in by one of you, let us count the ways:

What if they find out I'm worried about what they think about me? What? Seriously, tha's about as anxious as you can get - worried that they'll know I'm worried. It is twisted.

That's what's been going on in my head lately. Here's the deal. I have been working really hard the past 2.25 years or so, at cleaning up my life. After a decade of living like the long lost member of Motley Crue (circa 1985-1989ish), I kicked the booze, cigs, bad food, naughty friends, and replaced them with water, chewing gum, healthy food, and well, nobody. I'm OK though. I have a couple girls at work that I'm close with, great parents, and a couple of awkward online dating dates here and there. That's enough for now. What I am struggling with, however, is trying not to make this recovery turn into the never ending quest for perfection.

Right now, I'm in the so-proud-that-I've-got-things-together-don't-ever-let-anyone-know-I'm-still-human mode. Somewhere along the line, in my life cleaning, I ...

#thecumulativeeffectEinstein and The Secret to Happiness

4 comments | January 5th, 2012

enjoy your life

(by OOC via PsychCentral.com and originally by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.)

We've spent a lot of the past year focused on and talking about how to make the world a happier place for women and girls, and an easier place for women and girls to be happier.  Like the article below, we come across the tension between "success" and "happiness" a lot.  We've seen it here, on OOC, and it's fundamentally the exact tension that lead us to start OOC to begin with.  Check this out:

"It seems like an increasing phenomenon that a number of individuals are finding themselves with a psychic emptiness at some point in life. There is some kind of dissatisfaction, an uncertainty as to why they feel so unhappy and what will help them feel more complete. This runs rampant with people who have acquired some kind of success in life and find their minds saying, now what?

Albert Einstein once said 'Try not to become a man of success but rather a man of value.'

Today we’re driving our kids more than ever ...

#thecumulativeeffectIs She Doing Feminism Right?

6 comments | January 5th, 2012

Chestist grunge

(story submitted by "FeministGamer", a 25 yo Chestist)

Oh, the expectations and judgments of others...and havoc they can play with our sense of self.  Here's FeminsitGamer's story:

I've been told several times in just the last few months that I'm making things about gender that aren't (about gender), or that I'm, well, being too much of a feminist (they won't SAY "feminazi", but yeah).

I felt bad. I felt that I should just never mention gender issues anymore. I felt the universe was telling me I was doing feminism wrong. And then I realized that all these people telling me this were men. Maybe I'm doing it right? Or am I being "too gendered" yet again? {end story}

How much do gender considerations/conversations come into your life?  Can you do feminism wrong (we suspect that there are folks on many sides of this who would say yes)?  What have you got to offer FeministGamer as she tries to figure it out?  Let's play...    

#bodiesFashion’s Responsibility

2 comments | January 4th, 2012

expectations

(story by OOC via HuffingtonPost)   This first appeared in HuffPo back in September.  While it may have been more of a news story then, it's (sadly) no less topical or relevant now.  The CFDA is trying to embrace their role and responsibility, which is nothing short of great.  We look forward to some of the other major (and minor) players in the worlds of popular culture doing the same.  From the original article:  

"When the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) re-released its health guidelines earlier this year, it called for increasing awareness about eating disorder symptoms and recommended a ban on models younger than 16 walking in fashion shows. The goal was industry-specific: To address what the council's website calls the "overwhelming concern about whether some models are unhealthily thin."

But as CFDA CEO Steven Kolb acknowledged, fashion's influence is broader than that.

"As Diane [Von Furstenburg, CFDA president] and I wrote in our outreach letter to the industry ... 'Fashion Week has become a powerful voice, which reaches millions of people across the globe and we should not ...

#bodiesMust Watch Video

5 comments | January 3rd, 2012

FLY post

This was sent to us by one of you...and it's just such an inspiring bit of self-acceptance and self-love we wanted to share it.  And then be it.  Just click on the link.  Totally, totally uplifting.  I Am Who I Am

#chestismsWhat Movies Inspired You?

7 comments | January 2nd, 2012

hollywood

First, we owe a big apology to whomever the original source of these specific quotes was, because when we first clipped it (months ago), we clipped carelessly and left out the original url.  We know, not cool. But whomever they are, they did such a nice job pulling a handful of inspirational lines and thoughts from the archives of film, that we hope they won't mind if we share them here even without proper attribution.  If it was you, please forgive us - and please let us know and we'll modify right away. Everything that follows, until our questions, is from the original piece:

"You get what you settle for." This inspirational quote was in the film "Thelma and Louise", starring Susan Sarandon. It's a pretty straight forward quote, with a lot of meaning behind it. What you get out of life is what you try for. If you settle for less, you will get less.

"Do or do not. There is no try." This quote comes from "The Empire Strikes Back", and the famous Yoda recites this inspirational message. ...

#bodiesSee More Fat People

5 comments | December 30th, 2011

50s chestist

(Story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

One reader writes us with this:

I'd love to see more fat people on TV. In most shows I've watched it seems like very few characters are fat.

Sometimes a TV show will basically have one token fat person, like Lost or Glee. It seems rare to have multiple fat characters unless the show is specifically about fat people.

Occasionally I'll be watching a TV show and when a person who is even a little bit fat does appear someone I'm watching with will comment that they're fat like it's some sort of novelty.

It would be nice to see enough fat people on TV that it wasn't remarkable. {end story}

We've talked about this before, but not in a while.  What would you like to see more of (or less of) reflected in popular culture?  DO you see you?  How's it make you feel?  

#thecumulativeeffectStress Is Contagious

3 comments | December 28th, 2011

stressed

(story by OOC via CNN)   It's not you, it's all of us. For some of us, especially so at this time of year.

Yes, the stress you may be feeling (but which we hope you're not) might actually be the sum total of the stress others are feeling all around you.  Yup, like the common cold, stress is contagious.

  It's not just true, it's well documented.  The phenomenon is called "emotional contagion" in as much as because we can pass our emotions back and forth between and amongst each other like so many hot potatoes.  The original CNN.com piece pointed out that "we humans are an empathetic bunch...and we can catch other people’s anxiety, depression or stress. Whatever they’re feeling, we feel the same way."  Remind you of anyone...like yourself maybe?

The article continued citing "one classic study, 2- to 4-day-olds responded to the emotional distress of other newborns by crying as well. They did not respond similarly when they heard a synthetic cry."  Weird, right?

While the article goes on to discuss macro-enviromental influences etc (and ...

#bodiesCoverGirl, Taylor Swift and The Self Esteem Act.

1 response | December 22nd, 2011

TSEA

We think it's great that CoverGirl is taking down their Taylor Swift ads because the lashes they show and the lashes you get have nothing to do with each other.  But is the lie they told photographically any more or less significant than the lies any ad or editorial that's photoshopped and digitally-manipulated the human body shows?  Here @OOC HQ, we don't think so. We think it'd be even greater, and help a lot more girls and women (to say nothing of boys and men) feel good about themselves, if truth-in-advertising was proactive and not reactive, and not simply done because and after you've been caught. Photoshopping isn't necessarily bad. Pretending the ideal is real and attainable when it's not is bad, and the consequences of it can be dire. If you agree, and if you support transparency and truth-in-advertising, we hope you'll sign and forward this:

 

http://www.change.org/petitions/congress-sponsor-and-pass-the-self-esteem-act?share_id=KhdxhnxDwt&pe=pce

#thecumulativeeffectDo, a #Chestism

3 comments | December 21st, 2011

Sketch 2011-03-06 16_38_46

(submitted by OOC in March and again today)

"Do or do not...there is no try."

Freakin' Yoda.  He's so succinct.

(P.S. What do you think of our Yoda picture?  Could you tell it was him?)

#thecumulativeeffectYou’ll Feel As Good As What You Buy?

5 comments | December 19th, 2011

hermes

(story by OOC via SaulThisWeek.com)

At the height of the Holiday shopping season, we bring you this (no need to thank us).  Researchers at the University of Minnesota have determined we can make ourselves feel better by buying big-name brands.

The study in the Journal of Consumer Research (and reported at www.sciencedaily.com), showed that buying a "prestigious brand with an appealing personality such as Nike or Harley-Davidson, can improve your self-image, by rubbing off on the way you see yourself."  Here's how they conducted the research (and from the original article):

"They asked a group of women to carry a shopping bag --either a Victoria's Secret shopping bag or a plain one --for an hour while shopping at a mall. Then the women rated themselves on a list of personality traits.

The result? The shoppers who carried the Victoria's Secret bag perceived themselves as more feminine, glamorous and good-looking than those with the plain bag.

In a subsequent experiment, researchers found some people felt smarter when they carried a pen embossed with the logo from super-brainy MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology). And this was true even after some of the ...

Love & SexA Crisis of Feminist Conscience?

4 comments | December 14th, 2011

50s chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

What happens when what we want conflicts with who we think we are?  Here's her story:

I married my husband because he was pro-choice, a feminist, wasn't going to "save" me or any other damsels in distress.

I work hard, and take care of my family, but sometimes I wish someone else would take care of me. {end story}

We hear stories like this a lot.  Women who are strong, proud, in control, certain - and yet find themselves wanting to be taken care of emotionally, or "controlled" sexually, or to not be asked what they want all the time.

For some, it strikes at the heart of their feminist sense of self.  To us, here @OOC HQ, we think it makes all the sense in world and is a totally human (not gender specific) emotion.  Who wants to be strong all the time?  Who doesn't want to be taken care of some of the time?  To us, doesn't matter how strong you are...sometimes it's just nice to be coddled, spooned, and maybe even told what to do and how to do it.  What do ...

#bodiesThe Self-Esteem Act is Dumb

26 comments | December 2nd, 2011

bam

(submitted by lailainthecity)

We're all about diversity of opinions here @ Camp OOC...even the ones we don't agree with.  Imagine!  That said, there's a lot in Laialinthecity's comments we do agree with.  The first paragraph pretty much entirely.  As for the rest, well, for us, not so much.  But you decide for you, and let us and Laila know what you think. Here's what she does:

The "Self-Esteem Act"? Why do we have to keep lowering the bar for everything, and making it law no less? When I see someone svelte walking down the street, I don't ask them if they're wearing Spanx. When I see someone with a smile that lights up the room, I don't ask them if they're caps. When I see someone with waist length full bodied curly hair, I don't ask if it's a lace-front wig. Because the truth about what they look like when they get up in the morning, doesn't belong to me, it belongs to them. There's plenty of artifice in world, it starts with lip gloss when you're a teenager. So what?

Nobody is perfect, that should be common sense, ...

#thecumulativeeffectThanks To Ryan Murphy and GLEE

4 comments | November 24th, 2011

haring

As many a rock-star has said as their show has ended "THANK YOU."  Today, we're reprinting a story we first put up on Huffington Post. IN it we give thanks for Ryan Murphy and Glee.  Here we go:

I practically assaulted Ryan Murphy the other night.

Not in a bad way -- though he might have thought so. But I did pretty much hit him over the head and punch him in the stomach with effusive praise and adoration. And I'm not even a Gleek. No, my sycophantishness (sic) wasn't because of the show per se, but because of what the show's done. In my opinion, Glee's one of the most culturally important TV shows -- ever. And ever is a long time.

Why so much love for a show I don't really watch? Because Ryan's used the show and his platform as a creator to change the world. Hyperbole? Nope. He's saved lives and made lives better. He's given kids (and people) of all shapes, sizes, colors, persuasions, orientations, abilities and disabilities, the permission, and at least some measure of comfort, to be themselves, to withstand peer pressure, and to break-free of ...

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