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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

#chestismsSexy is When…

9 comments | October 11th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

 

My Story:

Sexy is when a girl can walk out her house with her head up high, with no doubts in her mind that she's being the best she can be.

 

Sexy is when she speaks her mind in a classy way.

 

Sexy is when she tells the world "Hello World, I'm beautiful and nobody can put me down.

 

Not today, not tomorrow, not never."  {end of story.}

 

What's sexy to you?  Who's sexy to you?  

#bodiesPictures of Me

10 comments | October 8th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted Anonymously, by a Chestist)

My Story:

I hate seeing myself in pictures.

 

What I look like in mirrors isn't half bad, especially without my glasses. But cameras tell the truth. Always.  {end story.}

 

How do you feel about seeing you in pictures?  What do you like, or not?  We had a similar (admitttedly longer) story from @Mir a few weeks ago.  Pictures and mirrors...#discuss.

3 Things I like About Me

14 comments | October 7th, 2011

3 things

Ok, 3 things you like about you.  At least 3.  Go as long as you want.  Don't stop.  Keep on liking you.

 

Have these things changed over time...or have you always liked them?

 

1-2-3, go.

#lifestagesAfter Your Partner Cheats

8 comments | October 5th, 2011

red handed

(story by OOC via mentalhealthy.uk.co and Liz Lockhart)

Cheating.  Not good in cards, or Scrabble, and really not good in relationships. 

 

And the effects of catching your partner cheating aren't just a major blow to the relationship.  The event can be a major blow to the cheated upon's self-esteem and happy.  Major.  INterstingly, though " it is not uncommon for both parties to have feelings of low self-esteem, depression and, for the person who has been cheated on, feelings of distrust and betrayal."  Ok, no surprise about feeling of trust and betrayal...what with having had your trust broken and your feelings violated.  Check.

 

Rebounding from the event can be complicated too acorrding to the original story..."partners need to feel that they are in control of their ‘other half’ and that if they are they could be spared from another betrayal.  The subsequent feelings of distrust linger and can even be taken into new relationships.  Betrayed partners can feel distrust in this and subsequent relationships and always prepare themselves for the worst.

 

It can be necessary to have a period ...

#bodies14 and Shining

3 comments | October 5th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Ingrid, a 14 yo Chestist)

My Story: Everyone at my school makes fun of my small chest, and half the time, I'm jealous of my best friend, who is gloriously blessed with D cups, but hates them. The other half of the time, I feel like I'm amazingly blessed to be unique.

 

Sometimes, there's this light inside of me, making me bubbly, I know I can do anything. Then, someone says something to demolish my light, and leave me depressed for days. In the end it just makes me more determined to shine. So shine I will. {end story.}

 

14 and already wiser than we are here @OOC HQ.    You feel a light's inside of you?  What (or who) helps you to shine?  What or who keeps you from shining as brightly as you want?  Shine on, Chestists, shine on.

Broke My Heart

6 comments | October 4th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Casey, a Chestist)

My Story: I promise myself I don't need or want him anymore, but I can't stop myself missing him and wondering about him every day. I know I'd take him back in a second.

 

It sickens me because he broke my heart so bad, but he was also my first love. I'm supposed to love him forever, right? The worst part is we go to school together. Starting next month, I'll be seeing him daily.

 

Keeping myself from loving him is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. {end story.}  

 

Sometimes, seeing a past love is like salt in the wound.  Maybe worse.  Sure, they can remind us of good times and things but - if we can't help but see them a certain way - they can also remind us of loss, rejection, hurt, and just be big ol' buzzkills.

 

You ever been forced to be around an ex, someone who did or didn't break your heart?  How'd that feel?  How'd you cope with it?  Us, we'd have gone and moved.

#thecumulativeeffectHappiness Pays

2 comments | September 28th, 2011

money bag

(story by OOC via ProjectSyndicate.org)

On any list of the world's greatest living thinkers, Jeffrey Sachs has to be included.  Here, we excerpt one of his recent stories considering whether a dogged pursuit of economic progress - whether as a nation or as an individual - is truly the path to happy.  Punchline: He says no.

 

"The time has come to reconsider the basic sources of happiness in our economic life. The relentless pursuit of higher income is leading to unprecedented inequality and anxiety, rather than to greater happiness and life satisfaction. Economic progress is important and can greatly improve the quality of life, but only if it is pursued in line with other goals.

 

In this respect, the Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan has been leading the way. Forty years ago, Bhutan’s fourth king, young and newly installed, made a remarkable choice: Bhutan should pursue “gross national happiness” rather than gross national product. Since then, the country has been experimenting with an alternative, holistic approach to development that emphasizes not only economic growth, but also culture, mental health, compassion, and community.

 

...Relentless pursuit of GNP to the exclusion of other ...

#lifestagesFull of Emptiness

10 comments | September 27th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Anne, a Chestist)

My Story:   Skinny. A twig fallen onto the ground. You step on it as you run past.

Brown hair. Brown eyes. The hot chocolate you come home to after a difficult day only to dump it down the drain when it's fulfilled it's a purpose.

Full mouth. Full of things to say. Full of emptiness that needs to be filled. Filled by you.

Long legs. Legs that just want to run, run far away. Run to a place where I am free. where nobody will tell me who i have to be and you are not afraid of what you've left behind.

Small arms. Small arms reaching out to be held by you. whoever you are.

You see me. but not really.  {end story.}

 

You ever felt the way Anne does?  Like you're hiding in plain sight?  Who made you feel like that?  You ever feel like that now?  Little can hate on your happy more than not being seen, not being heard, not being counted.  Let's let Anne know we see her and hear her.   We do.  XO

 

#lifestagesDon’t Forget Me, Please

8 comments | September 26th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Leulah, an 18 y.o. Chestist)

My Story: Don't forget me. Please, don't.

 

Don't leave me here waiting for you to return and never come back. Because you can't even take the time to say goodbye to me.

 

Don't forget the moments we shared, the shows we saw, the texts we sent. Don't forget the secrets whispered over the phone at Midnight. Don't forget the tears we've shared, the tears we've caused. Don't forget the night we spent 6 hours on the phone.

 

Don't forget me. Please. Because I can promise I'll never forget you.  {end story.}

 

Saying goodbye.  Those can be some tough moments.  What's your goodbye story?  Like Leullah, you ever been worried that you'd be left behind or forgotten?  We have.  No. Fun.  At. All.  Share your story and change hers.

#bodiesThe 1st Time and Self-Esteem

8 comments | September 26th, 2011

1st time

(story by OOC via fyiliving.com)

When we lost our virginity, it was over pretty much right after it started.  We're just saying.

 

That aside, researchers just finished a study of incoming college freshmen who were virgins at the start of school, and then not as they went along their way.  The study looked at how their thoughts about their own bodies changed after they'd had sex.  From the original article:

 

"When a guy loses his virginity he feels like a stud, but the opposite is true for the ladies...

 

Sex is tricky; you are at your most intimate in that moment.  It’s assumed that part of the reason the guys feel “hotter” is because sex is this right of passage into masculinity, they feel like they’ve finally done it! The ladies on the other hand feel a little uneasy, guilty and, dare I say it, slutty.  This might unleash self-esteem and body image issues that have been bubbling below the surface for these young women.

 

...(women) are more likely to critically evaluate their bodies in terms of the worshiped feminine ideal.”  This is called sexual spectatoring, i.e. seeing yourself from the outside ...

The Most Sought-After Thing In the World

10 comments | September 21st, 2011

ying yang

(story by OOC via Chris Crouch and the Memphis Daily News)

Ok, you read the story's title.  What did you think the most sought after thing in the world was?  How'd you define it?

 

According to this article and its author "to many who study behavior, happiness is the most sought-after thing in the world.

 

The pursuit of happiness is the unstated and underlying reason for most human endeavors. It’s the real reason people want money and many other things that seem on the surface to be their primary goals. Yet surprisingly, you cannot directly pursue happiness. Happiness is always the by-product of the pursuit of something else."

 

The way we see it, and this all makes sense to us, happiness is like a stew, made up of lots of different ingredients - or sometimes, just a few - the combination of which is delicious and delightful.

 

If you're with us so far, what are the ingredients for your happiness stew?  And back to the author's point, if you look at what you do and keep unpacking the reason why you do it, do you get to nbeing happier - or to ...

#lifestagesGen X: Too Busy For Babies?

8 comments | September 21st, 2011

GenX

(story by Jamie Weatherbe, a Chestist)

The women of Gen X have been busy, so much so that babies may have taken a backseat to career, according to new research from the Center for Work-Life Policy (http://www.worklifepolicy.org/).

Born between 1965 and 1978 — and often thought of as the MTV generation — Gen Xers are more educated and diverse than boomers, making them desirable talent for employers. And at 46 million, Gen X is small compared to the 78 million boomers and 70 million Gen Y, but Gen Xers “wield a disproportionate amount of influence” when it comes to work, the survey says.

 

And the accolades don’t end there. According to the study, titled "The X Factor: Tapping into the Strengths of the 33- to 46-year-old Generation," (http://www.worklifepolicy.org/index.php/section/research_pubs) Gen Xers “are the bench strength for leadership, the skill bearers and knowledge experts corporations will rely on to gain competitive advantage in the coming decades.”

 

This group is also holding off on having kids much more than their parents. Third-six percent of Gen X men surveyed said they didn’t have children. But the fertility focus is on the more than 40 percent of women between 41 and ...

#thecumulativeeffectDivision of Labor

7 comments | September 21st, 2011

Bucket

(story by OOC via Time)

The beach (remember summer?) is good for so many things, not the least of which was catching up on all the reading we need to do.  And so it was with sand between our toes (and in our crevices) and with the sweet smell of SPF 70 tickling our nostrils, that we caught up with this.

 

"Sharing household chores was was 3rd most important ingredient (after faithfulness and sex) in a successful marriage" to 62% of married adults, in research done by the Pew Research Center in 2007. 

 

Now, you know, us, and it would be easy to end the story here and go right to questions....but let's not because the original Time story was chock full of interesting factoids.  Amongst them:

 

These days, it's working dads that are experiencing increasing pressures and decreasing well-being.  The thing that seems to have changed most over time is not that an increase in working moms has alleviated the pressure to be the "breadwinner', but that there's been an exponential increase (our word) in fathers' wanting to and feeling they should be involved parents.

 

"Women expect more of men, and men ...

#lifestagesMiss Independent

28 comments | September 20th, 2011

indep

(story by @Mir from Woulda Coulda Shoulda.com)

As soon as my daughter entered the "me do it MYSELF!" stage as a toddler, I knew I was in trouble. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, you see, as I have nearly an entire lifetime of insisting I can do it myself, thankyouverymuch, behind me. And independence is a funny thing; it's a strength, but it can also be a weakness. Just as my firstborn sometimes brought me to my knees with her toddler stubbornness, I began to look back on my life and consider the ways in which my own stubborn independent streak did and didn't work for me.

 

When I was gearing up for college graduation, I'd already decided to stay in my college town and work for a year while applying to grad schools. My parents---ever concerned for my safety and comfort---offered to continue "helping out" while I took this hiatus. But I was going to be a college graduate. An adult! I should be able to take care of myself. I thanked them for their concern but assured them I would be fine. I would leave ...

#thecumulativeeffectAngela Davis on Men and Women

11 comments | September 20th, 2011

angela davis

(story by OOC)

Angela Davis is an activist who's been fighting what she sees as injustices her whole life.  She said this:

 

"To understand how any society functions you must understand the relationship between the men and the women."

 

Pretty simple and straightforward.  Do you agree or disagree? What do you think the relationship between the men and the women is in your world?

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