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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Good Enough?

8 comments | October 28th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

This came in from a Chestist, and it's 10 words that pack a wallup.  Here they are:

 

My Message:

I hate that I'll never feel good enough for him. {end story.]

 

We suspect, that we've all felt "not good enough" for someone or some thing at some point.  Feeling this way is a pretty huge buzzkill on happy.

 

Anyone ever make you feel not good enough?  You ever make YOU feel not good enough?  Why do you think you do that?

 

Feeling"less than" is something most of us have probably experienced at one time or another...let's share.  We're going to tell the story about tennis camp in 1979.  Stay tuned.  (Damn, 1979 is a long time ago, isn't it?)

Kama Sutra, Baby

8 comments | October 27th, 2011

swing

We haven't talked sex in a while which seems strange, so let's...a quick poll.  You and sex...a, b, c or d?

 

a) Can't get enough

 

b) Why bother

 

c) When I'm in the mood, which happens ______

 

d) I like to practice by myself

 

 

 

 

Is It Ever A Good Idea To Revisit Your Past?

10 comments | October 26th, 2011

past

(story submitted by 20something LA Wannabe, a Chestist)

I will admit it. Sometimes I suck at boy stuff.

 

I'm really bad at letting things happen naturally and just run their course. Nine times out of ten I try to manipulate a situation to ensure the outcome that I want. Fact: this has NEVER worked. Not once. It always ends up blowing up in my face. Yet I still continue to do it. I think I need to take a look at the saying they use in AA. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I've never been to AA but they seem to know what they are talking about.

 

I'm also a fan of their serenity prayer and they usually have hot guys standing outside of the Robertson Blvd location (you Angeleanos know what I'm talking about) and it's cheaper than buying copies of The Secret and The Power.

 

Anyway, sometimes when things don't work out with a new guy I'm talking to I like to go back to the past. Try and see what's going on with guys that I have ...

#lifestagesWhy I’m Here

9 comments | October 26th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Charliee, a Chestist)

My Message:

 

Sometimes I wonder. Why Im here.

Why do my friends like me? Why do some people hate me?

Im full of questions that are never answered. Im just left. Wondering.

And worrying.

No one will tell me anything. Its like...no one understands me. {end story.}

 

Not the feel-good story of the week, for sure.  But who amongst us can't relate to at least some of the questions she's asking - and the searching, seeking voice with which she's asking them?

You ever wonder why you're here?  What your purpose is, manybe even if you have one?  Why some people do and other's don't like you?  They can be such fundamental questions, and if we get to answers maybe they can lead us somewhere we hadn't thought about going.

Let's ask them of ourselves and see what comes up.  What do you say?  

Feeling The Fear

17 comments | October 25th, 2011

fear

(Story submitted by Mir, from WouldaCouldaShoulda.com)

Two particularly fear-laden ---even if, admittedly, irrationally so--- events stand out at me from my childhood.

One year, we drove home from a friend's house on Christmas Eve, and upon opening the door to our basement garage, were greeted with a cloud of smoke. After some investigation, it was determined that the furnace had died in a rather spectacular fashion, but nothing was actually on fire. The house was cold for a day, then the furnace was fixed and all was well. I can't recall how old I was at the time, but I spent the next couple of days convinced that the furnace was going to explode, set the house on fire, and kill us all. My parents probably assumed I didn't sleep well because I was cold, but really, I was just trying to stay awake so that I could run when the explosion happened. I don't know if I even told them what I was thinking (probably not).

Another time, it became clear that the septic tank needed to be pumped immediately. I was probably younger for this one, and I don't ...

Is The Pursuit of Happiness Misguided?

9 comments | October 24th, 2011

happiness

(story by OOC via PsychologyToday)

You may have noticed that we talk a lot about happiness here @OOC.  And, of course, an inevitable part of talking about happiness is talking about what hates on our happy....which you may have noticed we also talk a lot about.

 

We read an interesting article in Psychology Today, that asked if:  "our culture's seeming obsession with the pursuit of happiness misses the point entirely. Not that we shouldn't seek balance, but happiness? Why is happiness so important, and is it, in fact, even sustainable? And if we were happy all of the time, how would we learn to surf the waves of our emotions, and to gracefully dance with our shadows?"  (read the entire story here)

 

The author's point is, to us, a really good one.  While a sense of well-being and peace-of-mind can be sustainable, maybe the idea of "happiness" isn't.  What do you think - do you need lows to understand and appreciate highs?  Do you think it's more productive to focus on well-being and peace-of-mind?

 

What's the difference between happiness and peace-of-mind to ...

#lifestagesLoving Me is Wrong?

5 comments | October 24th, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

My Message:

I can live with her not loving me. But I will never forgive her saying that loving me (and in turn me loving her) is wrong.  {end story.}

 

We're so saddened by this story.  Not just unrequited love which is sad enough, but love that's judged...which seems so much worse.  Because the story was sent in anonymously we can't be sure, but given our audience here @OOC, we think this is one woman writing about another, and that it's not the love being judged as much as the gender of the lovers.  Again, so sad.

Have you ever been in a relationship - or wanted to be - where like these two, and Romeo and Juliet to name another, the relationship wasn't allowed or given a chance to work because of things that had nothing to do with how the 2 of you were together but who each of you was apart.  Sexuality, gender, religion, color, age ever buzzkill something you thought could be magical?

#lifestagesPleasantly Surprised

9 comments | October 22nd, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted by Zena, a Chestist) My younger brother, is that guy who loves girls who are skinny and all those types you see in music videos and so on. He talks about how 'hot' they are and how much he would love to 'bang' all of them. I always assumed that he is so narrow minded and only want the so called 'fake types'.  I'm kind of chubby and have low self confidence since I was a kid but I wouldn't exactly show it, who would?

 

Everyday I smile, laugh and tell people how beautiful they are, no matter what 'size' they are and I mean every word. When any of my friends feels like they are not beautiful because they don't get attention from guys, I say this, 'screw the society! screw what the media says! Beautiful is not a size zero! Confidence as well as when you smile makes you beautiful, makes you out shine out all of them.' I even tell them to cry, crying is actually really good, it lets everything out of your chest, makes you feel lighter. To be honest, ...

Compliment Me

12 comments | October 21st, 2011

new chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

My Story:

I feel appreciated when I am having a bad day and someone notices and doesnt ask me what is the matter, they just compliment me and tell me something positive.

 

It really makes me feel noticed, that my presence is wanted and that they want me to feel good.

 

One positive thing leads to another after another. So, it would be nice if everyone every once in a while complimented someone. It'll make their day better little by little.

 

Let's all say something nice to someone random today.  Or not so random.  They'll feel good, we'll feel good too.  Here in Hollwood Land, we call that win-win.  Go on, let's get to it.  

Different, a few questions

9 comments | October 21st, 2011

different

We're all different.  Yup, you heard it here first - AND you can quote us on it.

 

But, of course, not all of us are comfortable being different - and sometimes the specific nature of our differences make us uncomfortable.  A few questions...

 

1. Are you comfortable with whatever it is that makes you different?

 

2.  What makes you different?

 

3. If you could be different in another eway...what would it be?  Us, we'd sing like Gaga meets Pavarotti.

#lifestagesIn Defense of Barbie

10 comments | October 20th, 2011

d gate

(story by Dina Gachman, a Chestist)   Like many little girls (and some little boys too I bet) I was obsessed with Barbies.

 

Not minorly obsessed. Not vaguely passionate. I was full-on majorly, passionately in love with my Barbies. My younger sister and I played with them for hours at a time, making little Barbie houses and decorating their rooms, doing their hair, picking out the right color high heels to match their prom dress. We even folded teeny, tiny squares of Kleenex so our Barbies would have tissues at the ready if they sneezed or needed to daintily pat the sweat from their brow.

 

Sometimes we would head into the backyard with a few Barbie dolls to play “scary jungle.” Our poor dolls were stranded like Kate and Claire on Lost and they had to wade through raging rivers (puddles), climb treacherous peaks (rocks), or flee from dangerous beasts (our cat). It was intense.

  In addition to all the pretty, blonde, feminine Barbies that we named “Stacy” or “Jenny,” we had “Ms. Dawn.” Ms. Dawn was one of the cheaper Barbie knock-offs and we evidently harbored some kind of ...

#lifestagesEver Feel Like Someone’s Stolen Your Life?

10 comments | October 19th, 2011

stolen

(story submitted by 20 Something LA Wannabe, a Chestist)

I really hate it when people pretend like everything is perfect in their life just for appearances. Let's be honest, NOBODY is happy with everything. And if you are and you are in your twenties you must be some kind of freak of nature. A lucky freak of nature, but one nonetheless.

I'd rather be upfront with my friends. My relationships aren't what I want them to be or I thought I'd be in a different place in my life by this age. Then, sometimes I see people who have exactly what I want that are my age- and even more vomit inducing, younger.

Before you say anything, I get it. The way they look to me on the outside might not be how they actually are. At this point, I'll take the facade. I just don't understand how things are happening for these other people and not for myself. I'm the biggest believer that you are the only one who has the power to change your own life. But what happens when the changes you try to make don't work and ...

#bodiesGene, Genie

12 comments | October 17th, 2011

alladdin

(story by OOC via  UCLA Newsroom)   Life Scientists (a title we've not heard before) at UCLA recently identified a gene, a teeny, tiny gene, that links directly to an individual's sense of optimism and self-esteem.  How 'bout that?!     The original article is smarter than we are, so we couldn't understand a lot of it, but apparently this is a really big deal because "sometimes people are skeptical that genes predict any kind of behavior or psychological state. I think we show conclusively that they do," said the lead researcher who also stressed "that while genes may predict behavior, they do not determine it...       Some people think genes are destiny, that if you have a specific gene, then you will have a particular outcome. That is definitely not the case," Taylor said. "This gene is one factor that influences psychological resources and depression, but there is plenty of room for environmental factors as well. A supportive childhood, good relationships, friends and even other genes also play a role in the development of psychological resources, and these factors also play a very substantial role in whether people become depressed."    

Interestingly, as if this ...

#thecumulativeeffectSex or Self-Esteem? Pick 1.

12 comments | October 17th, 2011

aorB

(story by OOC via WashingtonPost)

According to this article by Ezra Klein in The Washington Post, "young adults like and want moments that boost self esteem more than having sex, eating a favorite food, drinking or pretty much any other pleasurable activity the paper studied...

 

Participants were asked to imagine their favorite food, sexual activity and self-esteem building experience, such as getting a good grade or receiving a compliment.Then, participants asked how much they “liked” and “wanted” each of those things. The (participants) “liked” and “wanted” the self-esteem boosts more than either of the other activities."

 

(read the whole story here)

 

Apparently, these results set off "alarm bells"...which we don't really understand - mostly because (and we're no longer young adults) we agree with the participants.  Seriously, sex and good food last about the same amount of time (if you chew quickly) and self-esteem can be so much more enduring and meaningful, right?  Or no?

 

So here's our question...take the test, self-esteem or sex or good food or...what would you rather have than high self-esteem?  Tell us, si vous plait.

#lifestagesA Chestism, by Gloria Steinem

8 comments | October 14th, 2011

epitaph

"Happy or unhappy, families are all mysterious.

 

We have only to imagine how differently we would be described - and will be, after our deaths - by each of the family members who believe they know us."  

 

Remember that scene in Tom Sawyer, where Tom and Huck attend their own funeral?  How do you think your family (and friends) would describe you? 

 

How do you want to be described?

 

Here's a thought...how about we all try and live today as we hope we'll be remembered tomorrow.  Just a thought.  XO  

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