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#bodiesI’d rather my daughter smoke weed than read Seventeen

56 comments | April 2nd, 2013

17

(submitted by seth@OOC) We originally posted this in May of 2011.  While the specificity of Ann's hypocricy has since passed, we think the breadth of Seventeen's hypocrisy continues.  Be who you are - but don't pretend to be something else. Our daughter's a year older...but nothing has changed enough to cause us to change our title, premise, nor belief. (5.3.12. and again on 4.2.13) This is Ann Shoket, Seventeen magazine's editor.  I hear she's very nice. But I also think this picture, which is (note: it was) her twitter profile pic, is a ridunkulous display of hypocrisy and moral convenience.  I don't think you get to bitchslap the pressure to be perfect in a profile pic AT THE SAME TIME you're yelling "PERFECT HAIR all summer" on your magazine's cover, and promoting a "bonus mag" that screams: "BODY", "Makeover"; Flat Abs!  A great butt!  Amazing legs! Yummy Recipes!".  That's.  Just.  Not.  Cool. Maybe it's just me, but you just shouldn't get to position yourself as part of the solution when you're still an on-going part of the problem. And Seventeen's a part of the problem.  In my opinion, they're a big part of ...

#thecumulativeeffectThe Hypocrisy of Arianna Huffington

comment | March 7th, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-03-07 at 9.56.08 AM

Here are 10 headlines (and a screen shot on the left) from the front page of Huffington Post as I type. You decide if 1 by 1 or as a whole they objectify women. Or, maybe you think they help move women forward in a society that still keeps them back (whether by design or default).  We have our opinion here, and it's that Arianna is being wildly hypocritical, championing women's issues and social justice on the one hand, and overseeing a business that uses objectification and sexualization as page-bait, as regularly and consistently and in as much quantity as The Huffington Post does. Obviously we can all do and think whatever we want.  Arianna has a business to run.  But it seems to us it's nothing short of wildly hypocritical to hold yourself up as a fighter against wrongs when you keep-on perpetuating the wrongs you say you're fighting against. Here are those 10: Sweaty Selena PHOTO: Tina Fey's Swimsuit Nightmare Kate For Playboy Dita's 3D Dress "Teen Mom" Sex Tape Allison's Hot Workout Pants Renee Looks Different Naomi Watts Nearly Flashes All What Liking Boobs Could Mean LOOK: Katniss Everdeen Dons Jaw-Dropping Gown For 50 more ...

The Fierce Urgency Of NOW

10 comments | January 18th, 2013

King and Son Walking Up House Steps

By Seth Matlins (We first posted this piece on Father's Day 2011.  In honor of MLK Day, we're reposting it now.)  A father walks down the path to his house with his son.  A simple and quiet moment captured, that stands in relatively stark contrast to the images of MLK we all know so well. Dr. King was a parent; sometimes we can forget that about him. A person and a parent who looked at the world and knew he needed to stand up and speak up for change, for justice, and for truth. For a lot of people.  For his children. And Dr. King didn't just have a dream, he had a timetable.  The changes he spoke for, dreamed of, and fought to create, needed to happen "now".  He didn't just urge us to end discrimination and economic injustice, he urged our embrace of "the fierce urgency" of the moment. As we look at this picture of Dr. King walking up the steps to his home with his baby boy, we're reminded that life changes quickly and sometimes irrevocably, sometimes ...

#lifestagesDon’t Want Kids

comment | November 30th, 2012

expectations

(by anonymous)

I don't want kids.  My mother's going to kill me. {end story}

You ever find yourself not wanting something someone else wants (or expects) you to want?  Big buzzkill if you let it be.  How do you deal with it? 

Happy MakingQ: How Do You Handle Conflict?

11 comments | September 27th, 2012

conflict

(by FMB)

Conflict's as inevitable a part of life as...pooping and peeing (you probably thought we were going to say death and taxes.  Nope, not us.)

How we handle conflict can have a lot to do with how we feel.  Some of us run head first into it and some of us run away from it like a coming storm.

What about you - do you deal with it head on; let it fester; swlallow it whole and never address it?  Does it matter who the conflict is with?  Are you more or less likely to deal with it if it's at hom,e, a friend, at work?  Any tips from any of you guys on how you deal with it productively?  Conflict...let's #discuss.

#lifestagesHe Lied About Me

4 comments | September 25th, 2012

chestist sad

(by "Breezy", a 21 yo Chestist)

I think we can all agree, sometimes some people suck.  This story is one of those times:

A good friend of mine lied to his friends and the guy I've been dating about sleeping with me. I just want to know why. I don't understand. It really, really hurts me, and it makes me feel sick, used, and betrayed. {end story}

This ever happen to you...where someone, let alone a good friend, made up a story about you...somethingthat was so false and hurtful and left you wondering wny and WTF?  What happened?  How;d you deal with it?  How'd you get past it - or haven't you?

If you haven't, we say let it go.  it's doing nothing good for you.  But either way, share your story here, won't you?

 

#bodiesWhere’s the Outrage?

10 comments | September 24th, 2012

WTF Burst

(by FMB)

We'll admit we don't get why and where popular media chooses to focus its - and our - attention, sometimes. 

Sometimes we're outraged by the abscence of outrage in our society.  Let's all talk about Lady Gaga's weight, Amy Poehler's divorce, or Amanda Bynes' troubles , but not these #s, and the massive, epidemic crisis of confidence affecting girls.  The status quo just isn't acceptable anymore.

7 out of 10 girls 8-17 believe they aren't good enough or don't measure up in some way (We're wondering good enough for what and measure up to what or whom?)

62% of all girls feel insecure about themselves (this is a massive crisis of confidence that does and will have serious ripple effects)

57% have a mother who criticizes her own looks (hey mom, think what you will - but stop hating on yourself in front of the kids)

What do you think?  Surprised by any?  What can we do to put the focus where it needs to be (and not on Ryan's abs), and why aren't we talking about this more?.

 

 

 

( data from Real Girls Real Pressure, a National Report on the State ...

Disappointment. #Discuss.

15 comments | September 12th, 2012

disappointment

(submitted by OOC)

Disappointment's such a buzzkill.  You can quote us on that.  And disappointments can be so varied...a bad Saturday night that started with high hopes, a job we didn't get, a relationship that didn't work out, a friend who wasn't, another month without getting pregnant when you want to, a parent who didn't show up at our game.  It's a long list of possibilities, and sometimes we're even the cause of them not just the victim. What - and who - does the word make you think of?  We've all had them, let's release them and get them off our chests.  What do you say, you with us??

#bodiesI Am Not My Stereotype

1 response | September 6th, 2012

50s chestist

(story submmitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

We're probably all guilty of having judged a book or two by its cover.  Feels a lot different when we're the book though.  Here's how she feels:

I have bleach blonde hair, big boobs, and apparently a decent ass. That doesn't make me stupid or shallow. It doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I am happier than anyone else. I have interest and issues too. I'm so sick of people taking one look at me and deciding I'm some sort of Barbie doll. {end story}

You ever been a victim of stereotyping?  When, how, why?  You ever been a stereotyper (most of us have)?  When, how, why?   Here's the thing about stereoptypes, they suck.  You can quote us on that.

#chestismsAndy Warhol Wanted To Be…

5 comments | August 1st, 2012

mon 2

(by FMB)

Even greatness can ~ and often does ~ start as something else.  As for Andy Warhol, looks like it didn't work out as he first planned.   "I never wanted to be a painter; I wanted to be a tap dancer." 

What did you always want to be? You doing it? Is it what you imagined?

 

#bodiesOut of Control

9 comments | July 23rd, 2012

Sketch 2011-01-20 18_34_52(3)

(by Anonymous, a Chestist)

You ever make one decision only to worry that the decision you made has consequences you hadn't necessarily considered to start?  She has and here's her story:

"Don’t even get me started on fears concerning my ability to conceive! I was on the pill for 11 years straight before finally deciding to stop opening that little pink pack on a daily basis, and I’ ve read one too many articles about the effects of birth control on one's body. I’ m not ready to have a kid yet, but I worry all the time about whether or not I will be able to do it when I am."  {end story}

Control's a funny thing.  Sometimes we think we have it only to find out maybe we don't have quite as much as we'd thought - or hoped. Are there things-which-you-cannot-control that are stressing you out?  Why?  #discuss.

 

#thecumulativeeffect1 Reason We Shouldn’t Compare

14 comments | July 18th, 2012

compared to what

(OOC via CNN)

Keeping up with the Joneses has been part of the American way since at least the 50s.  We compare oursleves to what they havem he, has, she has almost incessantly and certainly inextricably.  There was less to compare ourselves to, fewer data points and inputs and our social circles were limited to who we knew in the physical world, pre facebook et al.  But now, oh girl.  from the CNN report:

"Because of social networks, though, the field of competition has expanded dramatically. Now you're competing with the best pictures and the ebullient status updates of every girl you know. 'It's as if somewhere along the line, Facebook became the encyclopedia of beauty and status and comparisons.'"

If we've got a minute to spare we might just check out what's up on FB (or tw, or whatever).  And BANG BOOM ZIP, all of a sudden we're confronted with what she did, he did, she has, the party we missed and weren't invited to, the dinner that those guys had together, the fun, the laughter, the the the the...everything we weren;t ...

#lifestagesHappiness Makes Old Age Cooler

2 comments | June 27th, 2012

Get Busy Living

(OOC via psychologytoday.com)

This getting older thing can be funny.  Seems few of us want to do it, and our milestone birthdays often seem like millstones around the necks of our happy (or maybe it's just our longevity).   It's stranger still when you consider, as this reasearch did , that it's those over 60 who are the happiest amongst us.  Or at least they're the happiest amongst the Brits, where the research was conducted.  From the psychologytoday article:   "Research on the happiness of different age groups in the UK has found - surprisingly, it might seem at first - that it's actually the over 60s. This research showed that happiness levels are quite high in the 20s, then dip through the 30s and reach their lowest point in the mid-forties. But after 50, they start to rise, and continue rising through the 60s, when they become even higher than young people's. Similarly, a recent world wide survey found that, so long as they are in fairly good health, 70 year ...

#lifestagesComfortable Shoes

10 comments | June 25th, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(submitted Anonymously, by a Chestist, a FMB rewind)

How do you get what you want - when you don't know what it is?  That's the question we hear in this story sent in anonymously, by a Chestist.  Read on:

"I'm 33, and not that long ago, I realized I've spent my life in pursuit of "success" without having ever really considered what being "successful" actually means to me.  It's like I've been operating on auto-pilot, chasing good grades, and a good college and a good job, and a good boyfriend, and then a better job, and a husband, and kids, and lots of money and a retirement with lots of time totravel and comfortable shoes to travel in.  It's like everything's been laid out in this linear way and I just keep pushing forward without looking around me.  I don't want to do that anymore, but the problem is I don't know what I want to do.  I'm almost as afraid to get off this path as I am to stay on it." [end of story]

What about you, dear readers?  You pretty clear about what you ...

#chestismsLet’s Talk Dirty

10 comments | June 13th, 2012

Sketch 2011-01-23 15_47_44

(by FMB)

Name one sexual inhibition; maybe something you've always wondered about but have been too self-conscious to do.  It might just be leaving the lights on.  But whatever it is, you can tell us. (Remember, you can talk anonymously.)

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