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#bodiesI’d rather my daughter smoke weed than read Seventeen

55 comments | April 2nd, 2013

17

(submitted by seth@OOC) We originally posted this in May of 2011.  While the specificity of Ann's hypocricy has since passed, we think the breadth of Seventeen's hypocrisy continues.  Be who you are - but don't pretend to be something else. Our daughter's a year older...but nothing has changed enough to cause us to change our title, premise, nor belief. (5.3.12. and again on 4.2.13) This is Ann Shoket, Seventeen magazine's editor.  I hear she's very nice. But I also think this picture, which is (note: it was) her twitter profile pic, is a ridunkulous display of hypocrisy and moral convenience.  I don't think you get to bitchslap the pressure to be perfect in a profile pic AT THE SAME TIME you're yelling "PERFECT HAIR all summer" on your magazine's cover, and promoting a "bonus mag" that screams: "BODY", "Makeover"; Flat Abs!  A great butt!  Amazing legs! Yummy Recipes!".  That's.  Just.  Not.  Cool. Maybe it's just me, but you just shouldn't get to position yourself as part of the solution when you're still an on-going part of the problem. And Seventeen's a part of the problem.  In my opinion, they're a big part of ...

#thecumulativeeffectThe Hypocrisy of Arianna Huffington

comment | March 7th, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-03-07 at 9.56.08 AM

Here are 10 headlines (and a screen shot on the left) from the front page of Huffington Post as I type. You decide if 1 by 1 or as a whole they objectify women. Or, maybe you think they help move women forward in a society that still keeps them back (whether by design or default).  We have our opinion here, and it's that Arianna is being wildly hypocritical, championing women's issues and social justice on the one hand, and overseeing a business that uses objectification and sexualization as page-bait, as regularly and consistently and in as much quantity as The Huffington Post does. Obviously we can all do and think whatever we want.  Arianna has a business to run.  But it seems to us it's nothing short of wildly hypocritical to hold yourself up as a fighter against wrongs when you keep-on perpetuating the wrongs you say you're fighting against. Here are those 10: Sweaty Selena PHOTO: Tina Fey's Swimsuit Nightmare Kate For Playboy Dita's 3D Dress "Teen Mom" Sex Tape Allison's Hot Workout Pants Renee Looks Different Naomi Watts Nearly Flashes All What Liking Boobs Could Mean LOOK: Katniss Everdeen Dons Jaw-Dropping Gown For 50 more ...

Not As Pretty As I Want To Be

6 comments | October 31st, 2012

black explosion chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist, now on OOC rewind)

We're assuming this comes from one of our younger readers.  Any advice from any of you who've been there before?  Here's what she's got to share:

I always felt really sad for not being as pretty as I wanted to be.

Then I had a nose-job and I was sure I would feel better, because it's an expensive plastic surgery that is supposed to make you look better (even if it's not that much) but never worse. It turns out I look worse.

I had this surgery 6 months ago and I've been crying since then. Not only because I still don't feel pretty, but because I actually miss my face. I looked better before. I'm disappointed and now I don't have any hope. I totally regret this surgery. I wish I could go back 6 months and tell myself that I looked just fine. Now I can't even take pictures 'cause my nose looks bent. I try to think "It's just a little imperfection" but that makes me angry, because I wasn't born with it, it ...

#bodiesWhere’s the Outrage?

10 comments | September 24th, 2012

WTF Burst

(by FMB)

We'll admit we don't get why and where popular media chooses to focus its - and our - attention, sometimes. 

Sometimes we're outraged by the abscence of outrage in our society.  Let's all talk about Lady Gaga's weight, Amy Poehler's divorce, or Amanda Bynes' troubles , but not these #s, and the massive, epidemic crisis of confidence affecting girls.  The status quo just isn't acceptable anymore.

7 out of 10 girls 8-17 believe they aren't good enough or don't measure up in some way (We're wondering good enough for what and measure up to what or whom?)

62% of all girls feel insecure about themselves (this is a massive crisis of confidence that does and will have serious ripple effects)

57% have a mother who criticizes her own looks (hey mom, think what you will - but stop hating on yourself in front of the kids)

What do you think?  Surprised by any?  What can we do to put the focus where it needs to be (and not on Ryan's abs), and why aren't we talking about this more?.

 

 

 

( data from Real Girls Real Pressure, a National Report on the State ...

#bodiesMy Biggest Insecurity

6 comments | September 13th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by Allie P., a 16 yo Chestist)

Allie may only be 16 but - sadly - nothing about how she's feeling is limited by age.  We'd bet that at least most of us have (and sometimes still do) felt this way.  How do you deal with what she's feeling?  How have you gome from feeling like shit for what you're not to feeling good about what you are?   Remember, if you share your story maybe you can help change hers.

My stomach, my chin, my butt, my thighs, everything about me is horrible. I just feel that everyone else is so much thinner and prettier, and there is no one that will accept who i am. I'm finally understanding myself a little better, but my body is still my biggest worry and insecurity. {end story}

#bodiesI Am Not My Stereotype

1 response | September 6th, 2012

50s chestist

(story submmitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

We're probably all guilty of having judged a book or two by its cover.  Feels a lot different when we're the book though.  Here's how she feels:

I have bleach blonde hair, big boobs, and apparently a decent ass. That doesn't make me stupid or shallow. It doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I am happier than anyone else. I have interest and issues too. I'm so sick of people taking one look at me and deciding I'm some sort of Barbie doll. {end story}

You ever been a victim of stereotyping?  When, how, why?  You ever been a stereotyper (most of us have)?  When, how, why?   Here's the thing about stereoptypes, they suck.  You can quote us on that.

Not Proud.

5 comments | August 12th, 2012

chestist threads

(by anonymous)

I am constantly berating myself for not doing better things with my free time. Instead of exercising, doing something productive, taking some of the household jobs off of my husband's back, etc, I hang out at the cafe with friends, read books etc. I don't have the willpower to get myself to do what I should. I should get a job and have a boss. It's all the more unacceptable because on the outside I have a completely perfect life- I'm in decent shape (could lose 10 lbs but definitely not fat), 4 kids who are healthy and do well at school (although I'm always on them to do better), a husband who makes a ton of money, a lovely house in the city and a summer house on the beach, enough money to do basically anything I want. And a ph.d in an area I am good at. Why can't I either enjoy myself or get motivated to do something so that I am proud of myself! {end story}

#bodiesBattery Operated

10 comments | August 8th, 2012

exploding flowers

(by anonymous)

I'm 28 and have orgasms by myself, but having them during sex seems very difficult for me.

I've been having sex for a good 13 years and the big O only comes with the help of a battery operated device. {end story}

There's no doubt orgasms make us feel more better (yup, you can quote us on that).  So a quick poll...you and orgasms a) always b) never c) sometimes d) only with a vibrator e) only by ____ (fill in the blank).  Remember, you can always comment anonymously at Feel More Better.

(note" this story came in as a comment on this one.)

 

 

#bodiesWoot!

8 comments | August 3rd, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by E, a 32 yo Chestist)

Oh, hello:

I had my first orgasm ever last night!  I'm 32!  I was alone!  I may never leave the house again!  {end story}

Is it easier for you to orgasm with or without a partner (if at all)? P.S. yay for E.

Bad Fathers

11 comments | July 29th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(by Natasha, 19, a Chestist)

My dad gives me crap about my weight and how unpretty I am all the time. For the record, I am 5'2'', 103 lbs (naturally, no eating disorders here), and have been called "stunningly beautiful" and "fairy-like" by my mom's friends. In a month, I'm heading off to college in New York and my dad keeps teasing me in front of the entire family. He says I'm going to come back 50 lbs heavier and looking like a whale, and that it's simply a fact. I also mentioned that a friend of mine auditioned to play a Disney Princess. His response? "She looks more like Ursula." This is one of my best friends. He keeps saying that she's "chunky" and needs to get a nose job. At the same time, he blatantly tells me that he thinks my tall, beautiful, stick-thin friend is one of the sexiest people he has ever met. This kinda language lead to my younger sister's anorexia earlier this year. I've tried talking to him about it, but he won't stop. I'm terrified that he ...

#thecumulativeeffectHannah Montana on Body Image

4 comments | July 29th, 2012

concerned

 (by Abbie, a 17 yo Chestist)

"Nobody's perfect." - Hannah Montana

 

Nobody (no body) is perfect...that's a radical thought. You may "know" it already, but do you really KNOW it? And if not, it's time to ask yourself the following: In what universe does Hannah Montana know something I don't??? {end story}

 

 

#bodiesNudity: The Great Equalizer

8 comments | July 27th, 2012

misery loves company

(by @Laurenne from HumansAreFunny.com)

A man crossed the street in front of my car yesterday. Since I was hiding behind my windshield, I had a rare opportunity to stare at him without the possibility of awkward accidental eye contact. He had what some call a FUPA, or Fat Upper Pussy/Penis Area.  It was as if he had a monster truck tire strapped into his underwear, and he had to hobble across the street with a cane in order to carry all that extra weight. I stared without shame and followed his body from the very bottom of his ankles up. And at the top, I saw his face (Obviously. If his face weren’t there, I would have screamed). His huge bottom lip sagged down as if it were pulled by the extra weight of his FUPA. His mouth hung open, surely sloshing fellow pedestrians with uncontrollable drool.

I wanted to run out of my car and talk to this man. I wanted to know what it’s like to grow up with such a FUPA and such an uncontrollable ...

#bodiesOut of Control

9 comments | July 23rd, 2012

Sketch 2011-01-20 18_34_52(3)

(by Anonymous, a Chestist)

You ever make one decision only to worry that the decision you made has consequences you hadn't necessarily considered to start?  She has and here's her story:

"Don’t even get me started on fears concerning my ability to conceive! I was on the pill for 11 years straight before finally deciding to stop opening that little pink pack on a daily basis, and I’ ve read one too many articles about the effects of birth control on one's body. I’ m not ready to have a kid yet, but I worry all the time about whether or not I will be able to do it when I am."  {end story}

Control's a funny thing.  Sometimes we think we have it only to find out maybe we don't have quite as much as we'd thought - or hoped. Are there things-which-you-cannot-control that are stressing you out?  Why?  #discuss.

 

Happy HatingI’m Not Pregnant

3 comments | July 22nd, 2012

Mic

(by anonymous, a Chestist)

Yesterday, after enjoying a lovely cup of tea with some friends, an elderly man who had been at the restaurant since before we got there interrupted us to ask, "So when are you due?" Needless to say (or, I suppose, not so needless), I'm NOT pregnant.

I quickly signed my receipt and stormed out before the other patrons could see my face flush red. When I got home I dropped my purse, tore off my shoes and started weeping into my fiance's arms. I'm trying so hard to lose weight for our wedding...and for my health and my life...and it seems like in every candid photo, every walk by a mirror, I seem to have gained weight. What's worse, with every word of comfort my fiance tried to say, a louder voice in my head made a counterpoint in middle-school-mean-girl fashion. When I tried to tell my fiance about the voice, he said, "Tell it it can't stay. No one is allowed in this bed but you and me."

And the voice chimed in with, "Only because no one else could fit." {end ...

#thecumulativeeffect1 Reason We Shouldn’t Compare

14 comments | July 18th, 2012

compared to what

(OOC via CNN)

Keeping up with the Joneses has been part of the American way since at least the 50s.  We compare oursleves to what they havem he, has, she has almost incessantly and certainly inextricably.  There was less to compare ourselves to, fewer data points and inputs and our social circles were limited to who we knew in the physical world, pre facebook et al.  But now, oh girl.  from the CNN report:

"Because of social networks, though, the field of competition has expanded dramatically. Now you're competing with the best pictures and the ebullient status updates of every girl you know. 'It's as if somewhere along the line, Facebook became the encyclopedia of beauty and status and comparisons.'"

If we've got a minute to spare we might just check out what's up on FB (or tw, or whatever).  And BANG BOOM ZIP, all of a sudden we're confronted with what she did, he did, she has, the party we missed and weren't invited to, the dinner that those guys had together, the fun, the laughter, the the the the...everything we weren;t ...

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