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Love & SexIt Would Break My Heart

3 comments | December 14th, 2011

past

(story submitted anonymously, by a 20 yo Chestist)

The song says that "sorry is the hardest word."  Sometimes, maybe.  Other times it might just be "goodbye."  Here's a story from one of you about not being able to say it:

After my three-year relationship with my first love ended last January, I started dating another boy. Whilst my first boyfriend treated me well most of the time, when I look back I don’t think that we had a huge amount in common. In general, he treated me very well, and I overall I consider him to be a very good guy. But I was not very confident and allowed myself to defer to what he wanted a lot of the time, not just in terms of sex, but in terms of where we would go out to eat, what we would spend the day doing, what I would wear. I could have been more assertive; he didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, but perhaps he could have learnt to take compromise a little better.

Since then, I dated an international student from my university ...

Porn Culture and Our Body Image

comment | December 13th, 2011

http://su.pr/2e127x

#lifestagesThere’s No Scrapbook Page For This

12 comments | December 13th, 2011

oh

(story by Mir, a Chestist, from Woulda Coulda Shoulda) I have kids, you know. Two of 'em, one in each flavor. Being their mom is almost always my very favorite job, and I of course am trying to raise them "right," by which we understand "right" to mean "healthy, happy, and generally kind to small animals and other humans." To me, the most interesting thing about raising small humans is how the experience causes you to reflect on your own upbringing so repeatedly. I mean, really, who needs therapy when you have children? For whatever reason---maybe it has to do with some recent events--I've been thinking about our various notions of body privacy and such. How we as a society view these things, and how I was taught about them, and how I teach my kids about them. See, my kids have been taught that their bodies are theirs and theirs alone. They've never been taught that anything about their bodies are "bad" or "nasty" or anything. I've used, I think, very ...

Kristen Stewart Has Body Image Issues. Like the Rest of Us.

comment | December 12th, 2011

http://su.pr/2GgXY8

 

 

#chestismsWhat She Said

2 comments | December 10th, 2011

(submitted by OOC: 12.10.10, and again today)

"I think that any woman who's out there trying to break down why any woman would get anywhere, or why we're different, just needs to fucking turn her computer off, take the sandwich out of her mouth and go for a goddamn walk,  You know what?  Just walk it off bitch." - Olivia Munn

We here @OOC HQ think it's high-time to end woman-on-woman hating (hating of any and all sorts, really).  Here's to it.

(apologies to the source, we can't remember where we saw this.)

#lifestagesIf My Daughter Ever…

6 comments | December 10th, 2011

ever

(a Best Of OOC, Anniversary submission)

The Parents Television Council's findings on the 'sexualization' of teen girls on TV got us thinking about our own daughters and what they are/will be exposed to no matter how hard we try to protect them. 

Share your thoughts, fears, anxieties, concerns, hopes, wishes, and dreams regarding your daughter(s), whether you've been raising them for 16 years already or haven't yet met their father.  Comment below, or email us at stories@offourchests.com.    "If my daughter ever..."

Love & SexI Like This Guy

8 comments | December 9th, 2011

cloudy talk burst

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Um, so, we can not relate to this at all, because, like, we are always wildly composed.  Always.  Ok...not so much.  Here's her story (it's short):

I like this guy, but whenever I'm around him, I either can't talk or I act like an idiot.  What the heck is wrong with me?? I hate this. {end story}

We dare you, dear Chestists, who amongst you can say they've not experienced being tongue tied, being a little (or a lot) off your game whether it's a boy or a girl or someone you like.  Or theiur parents.  Or your boss's boss's boss?  Why does that happen?  Why when we want to shine do we sometimes self-sabotage?  Let's talk about that...and share some stories.  We're betting at least a couple of them are funny.  And sad.  Ok...go.

 

#chestismsAbout Off Our Chests

6 comments | December 9th, 2011

(submitted by Off Our Chests: 12.10.10)

So this is what we wrote about us one year ago today.  Gotta say, it's still all exactly true.  Happy anniversary everyone, and thanks to everyone who's stopped by, read, shared of themselves and a given a little bit (or more than that) to others.  Onwards Blitzen, on Dancer...there's much work still to be done.  XO, OOC

The truth...it’s freakin’ hard to be a truly, madly, deeply, happy woman in today’s world.  Expectations, messages, norms, standards, ideals, images, the absence of images...whether they’re yours, cultural, your mom’s, dad’s, friends’, or your sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s, what we see, hear, watch and listen to...can all combine to be quite the buzzkill on happiness, no?

Their cumulative effect can be like a mad-wing-flapping-albatross around the neck of feeling as good as we can.  And at Off Our Chests, we think it’s high-time for each and all of us to stop letting anyone hate on our happy.

See, we’re all about the pursuit of happiness.  Yours, and hers.  (Hey, we’re not man-hating, we’re just lady-loving).  Our job?  Help make it easier for women (and all those little girls that’ll one day grow into ...

#chestismsSick Enough

3 comments | December 8th, 2011

eminem

(submitted January 24, and again today)

And so begins the one year anniversary week of Off Our Chests.  Woot!  You're probably thinking "how ever did I make it without these guys?" 

As we start our 2nd year together, we thought we'd revisit some of our earliest posts...the ones we put up when no one was watching (or reading).  And so this week, we'll be reposting some of the pieces we think speak best to what OOC is, wants to be -  and wants to help the women (and girls) of the world become.  In a word, happier.  And we think one of the keys to happier is speaking your truth. 

It's not that we think Eminem is the quintessential voice of OOC.  We don't.  We do, however, think this idea of speaking your truth and saying what there is to be said, be it big or small, makes all the sense in the world.  So, with a nod to Em, iff you're thinking it, what keeps YOU from saying it?  Say it here.  Now.  Go on.  You'll feel better.

Happy HatingAnyone Else?

7 comments | December 8th, 2011

Chestist Sun, red and black

(story submitted Anonymously, by a Chestist)

This story doesn't share a lot of details, but you aren't left wondering how she feels, and it's not good:

I bottle up my emotions. It's not healthy, I know. Last night I had the worst mental breakdown I've ever had. I was up till 5 AM crying. Has this ever happened to anyone else? {end story}  

One of the things about bottling up our emotions is that when they come out...and they pretty mnuch always do...it can be really hard to tell what's coming out and what it's coming out becuase of.  Emotions can be like a steam valve that way...open it up, and watch out.  That's but one reason we beleive in living a life where we (all) get things off our chests.

You ever have a "breakdown"?  What lead to it?  What you lead you past it...unless of course you're still there.  We've all had lows.  Let's talk about them and how we got past them.  Remember, if you share you story you can help change hers. 

 

 

 

H&M = Her Head&My Body

comment | December 7th, 2011

http://su.pr/1UgXxr via HuffPo

#bodiesNipple Envy

8 comments | December 7th, 2011

chestist swirl

(story submitted by Wendy Colbert, a Chestist)

I miss my nipples.  Sure, there are benefits to being a 44-year-old nipple-free woman.  I can wear skimpy tops now without a bra.  No matter how cold the breeze is, my chest remains smooth and unstimulated.  And of course, those pesky cancer cells that had nested just behind my right nipple are gone, along with all the tissue that made up my breasts.

I miss my breast tissue, and the sensation of my chest skin.  I'm mostly numb now.  But I miss my nipples the most.  I wish I heard more women value and grieve their loss of sexual sensation after mastectomy and breast reconstruction, so that I would have had a better understanding before diving into the process myself.

Before breast cancer, I never thought much about my nipples.  You could say I took them for granted.

Now, I wonder, where did my nipples end up?  Were they chucked into some hospital waste dumpster, along with other spare parts - tumors, cysts, and cellulite?   My nipples were special.  Shouldn't they have been properly grieved for and more ceremoniously disposed of?

My nipples represented ...

Wishes

42 comments | December 6th, 2011

candle flame

(story by Mir, from WouldaCouldaShoulda, a Chestist)

I've got something a little different to talk about today. It's been on my mind, lately, and I'm wondering if I'm weird. (Well, okay; we all know I'm weird. I mean... weirder than usual.)

I grew up making a wish on my birthday candles every year. I grew up searching the sky at dusk for the first star, then breathlessly reciting "Star light, star bright / First star I see tonight / I wish I may, I wish I might / Have this wish I wish tonight" to myself before wishing for whatever it was I wanted.

The things I wished for varied, of course. I wished for friends. I wished for particular toys. Once I became a young teen, I wished for designer jeans and for that boy I swore up and down I absolutely was NOT interested in to look my way and smile. As an older teen, I wished to get out, get away, go to college, start over, remake myself into someone more whole, more lovable.

In my first marriage, we wanted babies---lots and lots of babies---and it became ...

#lifestagesSurvivor’s Pride

10 comments | December 5th, 2011

chestist blue

(story submitted by Matsu, a Chestist)

Her story is equal parts horrifying and inspiring.  It begins here:

I used to joke that getting married was something my mother would do for fun on weekends. 

She was a child of the 70's, whose own mother ran with greaser boys and regularly flipped off social norms and had a joyfully combative relationship with her husband. Maybe un-choosing that for herself, my mom decided that she wanted a 1950's marriage in the 1980's, and ended up in a series of marriages and years-long relationship searching for one that fit her ideal.

It was her lifelong dream: to have a husband she could rely on and children she could care for, a stable family in a stable home. But the longer she went without finding it, the more she relaxed her standards.  After her second divorce, she was a lonely and vulnerable single mother of a preteen daughter who, she thought, needed a father at a crucial time in her life.

So she found one.

Her third husband was abusive, but intelligent and trained to read the reactions of others. Like most abusers, he ...

Gender Inequality Stars in Hollywood

comment | December 2nd, 2011

http://su.pr/5Jq7Qm

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