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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Happy HatingEmpty

6 comments | June 25th, 2012

road back

(story by GLH, a Chestist)

My emotional tank is on empty.  {end story}

This is a short story to be sure, but probably one to which a lot of us can relate.  When you feel like this what do you do to help yourself feel more better?

#lifestagesComfortable Shoes

10 comments | June 25th, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(submitted Anonymously, by a Chestist, a FMB rewind)

How do you get what you want - when you don't know what it is?  That's the question we hear in this story sent in anonymously, by a Chestist.  Read on:

"I'm 33, and not that long ago, I realized I've spent my life in pursuit of "success" without having ever really considered what being "successful" actually means to me.  It's like I've been operating on auto-pilot, chasing good grades, and a good college and a good job, and a good boyfriend, and then a better job, and a husband, and kids, and lots of money and a retirement with lots of time totravel and comfortable shoes to travel in.  It's like everything's been laid out in this linear way and I just keep pushing forward without looking around me.  I don't want to do that anymore, but the problem is I don't know what I want to do.  I'm almost as afraid to get off this path as I am to stay on it." [end of story]

What about you, dear readers?  You pretty clear about what you ...

#lifestagesWords and Memories

10 comments | June 25th, 2012

fear

(story submitted by Her Cousin, a Chestist)

We were at my cousin's house.  I'm pretty sure I was 8 or 9. 

My father was sitting with his sister, having a smoke, when I walked up to him and said - not really meaning it and for some reason thinking it would be funny (it wasn't) - "you have to choose.  me or the cigarettes", at which point I turned and walked away.

Hysterical, right?  I remember my father's response just as clearly.  He said (not knowing I was trying to be funny) "I hope that's a choice you won't make me make."  I'm 8 or 9 and I've just unintentionally put an ultimatum in front of my father.   The thing is, I remember having this doubt after he said that where I wasn't sure what choice he'd have made.  That didn't feel good.  * or 9 and I may have lost to a cigarette.

Sometimes now and all these years later, I wonder if that one moment, that one response to a joke that wasn't funny at all, has influenced me negatively.  Why do I remember ...

#thecumulativeeffectHBO’s “Girls” & Self-Entitlement: Do I Know How Lucky I Am?

4 comments | June 24th, 2012

chestist soup

(story submitted by Erin, a Chestist)

We don’t have HBO, or cable for that matter, so I’m a teeny bit behind the ball when it comes to television culture. But thanks to the bounty of blog posts and attention given to Girls, I feel like I know enough about the show that’s taken the media world by storm. Everywhere I click boasts the show’s success or criticizes its lack of diversity, which in turn allows me to offer my ten cents on a show I’ve never even seen. And thank God because when the happy hour/cocktail party/dinner conversations steer away from politics, engagements or graduations I feel a great sense of relief. I can contribute something to the conversation even if it’s about make-believe, overindulged, self-entitled, motivationally-challenged white women.

As it turns out, I have more in common with them than I would have guessed.  I shamefully caught a glimpse of former self while reading the exchange between one of the Girls characters and her parents, “I could be a drug addict. Do you realize how lucky you are? I mean, it doesn’t have to be heroin. It ...

Feel More Better

1 response | June 21st, 2012

picasso

Disconnect.

Stop reading.  Go play with your friends or family or dog or cat or by yourself.  Take a nap.  Get off-line.

It's time for a digital break.  XO, and have more fun.

 

#thecumulativeeffectMore Sexual Double Standards

6 comments | June 21st, 2012

different

(story submitted by Kara, a 17 yo Chestist)

My friend decided to fool around with a guy friend of hers. He told everyone about it and her reputation is down the toilet. His, on the other hand, has never been better. It's unfair how girls are condemned for the same things that guys are praised for.  {end story}

We shared another sexual double standard story earlier this week.  There's no denying the double standard exists, but let's spend more time on why it's so.  Why does her reputation suffer while his is enhanced ~ all for doing the same thing?  Penises and vaginas, let's discuss.  

#lifestagesThey Say They’re Ok With Who I Am

12 comments | June 21st, 2012

green eyed

(story submitted by a 17 yo Chestist)

I don't understand why they can't just be happy with who I am.  They're family.  You'd think they'd be nice to their daughter and granddaughter, especially after knowing I self-injure but that just made things worse. I love my family but its hard sometimes.  They say they're okay with who I am but they disapprove of everything I do and everything I stand for.  {end story}

Doesn't matter how old you are or aren't; you ever feel like those closest to you are judging who you are and what you do?  How do you deal with it?

#lifestagesI Am No Longer Comparing

5 comments | June 20th, 2012

change

(story submitted anonymously, by a 33 yo Chestist)

Sometimes what we see is not what we get.  Check out her story:

I was staring in the mirror.  Noting every flaw, every change, every thing I wished were different.  I was picking myself apart - more observationally than negatively, and wondering how what I had once been had become this 33 year-old version of me now, when I found myself saying "wow, you don't look very good."

Just as suddenly and actually taking me by surprise, I found myself saying "it is what it is and you are what you are."  And I smiled at my reflection, and walked away feeling pretty good about the me that I am and no longer comparing it to the me I used to be :-) {end story}

Truth, the happy ending here took us by delightful surprise.  How's about you, Chestists? What do you see when you look at you in the mirror?  However it makes you feel, why do you think you feel that way?   What needs to happen or change for you to feel (even) better?  Let's #discuss.   

Love & SexWonder If He Ever Thinks Of Me

6 comments | June 19th, 2012

Alone

(story submitted by Kelly, a Chestist)

Every now and again I think about him.  I wonder where he is and what he's made of his life since we said goodbye.

I wonder if he has someone in his life and if she makes him happy.  I wonder if he ever thinks of me.

Saying goodbye wasn't easy even if it was right.  Learning that love isn't always enough wasn't easy either even if it is true.  {end story}

Ever find yourself in a relationship where love just wasn't enough?  How'd you deal with it (or haven't you?)

#bodies“She Has a Problem, And You Know It”

8 comments | June 18th, 2012

black

(story submitted anonymously, by an 18 yo Chestist) The bedroom lock clicks as she blasts on some music. Once satisfied with its volume, she mindlessly walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind her. She heads over to the sink and washes her hands. As she directs the soap on her index and middle finger, the conversation she heard after dinner plays back in her head… ------------------------------------------- The knot in her stomach tightened as she peered through the cracked door. Her brother grabbed their father by the shirt, making himself heard. “She has a problem, and you know it.” ------------------------------------------- Working quickly, she pulls back her hair into a tight knot, and finds a large headband to cover up the rest of the mess. Her father switched to Tamil; everybody was in for it now. “She has as much of a problem as my son does taking his eyes off a damn computer screen. No one’s stopping you! It’s just something she does to cope.” Her brother persisted in English. “But it hurts.” ------------------------------------------- She looks at the toilet, and washes her hands again. “Is ...

#chestismsPlease Give Me a Sign

5 comments | June 18th, 2012

Faith

(story submitted by E.B., a Chestist)

I'm so sick of not knowing which way to go or what to do.  I just wish someone would give me a sign from somewhere.  I worry I'm not going to figure it out on my own and will make the wrong decision.  I feel fucked.  {end story}

You ever look for signs from somewhere else?  You ever get one?

#thecumulativeeffectSexual Double Standards

6 comments | June 17th, 2012

double standard

(story submitted by DS, a Chestist)

My best guy friend had a threesome and ever since he told me about it the first time I've had a fantasy about having one (not with him). 

I love sex.   2 guys and me -- twice as many hands, tongues, lips, arms, legs and bodies doing all the things bodies do.  I mean, come on.

I don't think it's ever going to happen.  The perceptions of a guy who has a threesome is so different than if a girl does.  As archaic as I think that is I don't know if I can deal with it.  It's not like a lot of people would know but there's such a double standard.  Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies I guess. {end story}

DS' story reminds us of Kevin Smith's movie Chasing Amy (with Ben Affleck).  You think there's a sexual double standard for women and men?  What can we do to change it?

#lifestagesThe Joys of Potty Training a Toddler

9 comments | June 17th, 2012

mom

(story by Renea Dijab, from ThinkandPonder.com)

After successfully weaning a full-grown, walking, talking child with TEETH, it was time to move on to potty-training.  She very nearly attended her 4th birthday party in a diaper.  We do not do things quickly at my house.

If you read:  “Breastfeeding… FOREVER”, then you know I am committed to doing whatever it takes to move my baby girl happily through childhood, despite my own pain and suffering, but after nearly FOUR YEARS, I was getting really tired of changing diapers twenty times a day.

First of all, she was costing us several hundred a year in Pampers and I looked forward to the day that I got to pass on my coupons at a playdate the way other moms did.

And when they are that big, they don’t fit on baby changing tables and you can’t change them in your lap, hence the fine art of changing a poopy child standing up, which is a particular problem when you are in Europe and the restaurant’s bathroom is down a dark alley in a cupboard the size of a linen ...

#lifestagesForcing Myself to Be Single

4 comments | June 17th, 2012

goldfish

(story submitted anonymously, by a chestist)

I've almost always had a boyfriend since I was 12.  From my first kiss to last night, I've never been "single" for more than a few weeks.  I'm no closer to marrying my current boyfriend than I was 12 year-old Rudy.  I've had 2 relationships that lasted for more than year, and one that went fpr almost 3 years.  Most only last a few months.  As soon as one ends I start dating and as soon as I start dating I always get serious.  

I worry sometimes that I'm afraid to be alone and that I should learn how to be.  I'm dating a nice-enough guy now but I know there's nothing long, long term in it.  I think about breaking up with him and forcing myself to be single for a while. It's got to be good for me. {end story}|

You think it'd be good for the writer to spend some time "alone"?  Why (or why not)? 

1 Word About Your Dad…

13 comments | June 16th, 2012

cloudy talk burst

...or more, if you feel like sharing.

 

 

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